Monday, April 23, 2018

What Is Your Vision for 2013?

Has it changed, or are you still operating within an old and stale vision that may not be working well for you?

One of my coaching clients, Lucy (not her real name) was sharing with me last week that she is frustrated and upset that she is always behind, doesn’t finish projects and/or meet commitments she has made, and is completely overwhelmed. Lucy tearfully stated that she doesn’t have any good friends, and at the age of 60 is starting to regret the time she has spent chasing so many dreams that she hasn’t made time for relationships. Nor has she reached the pinnacles of success she has dreamt about for years.

As Lucy talked, I could tell she was trying to stuff three lifetimes of activity into one, and she had no breathing room. She didn’t know how to set priorities, and schedule things accordingly. And, unfortunately, she was deeply mired in a social structure and belief system ingrained in her by her socially conscious family.

We agreed she had her work cut out for her.

Our first step was to sit quietly for just a bit so that she could quiet herself, and then we began to talk about her dreams, and what they meant to her. I asked her what she was trying to accomplish by going after her third and fourth college degree, and what her intentions were  once she had obtained this scholarly education. Lucy’s response was that she wanted credibility as she talked to others about the things she is so very passionate about. When we explored this concept, Lucy was astonished as she recognized that the only person who had difficulty with her credibility was LUCY.

Her task over the next couple of weeks is to develop her long-term vision of who she wants to be, based on her priorities and values. I’ve asked her to look at all the rules she has for herself to determine if they are, in fact, based on who she is or if they are based on who her mother and father told her she should be.  I also asked her to pick her top two dreams – in different areas of her life – and using the wellness wheel, determine what she could do in each segment to support those dreams over the next year. This is a daunting task for someone not used to looking deeply inside herself for her own answers. Lucy began to talk about all she had to do, and how she needed to clean up her broken commitments while maintaining her work and her household.

Because Lucy was once again working hard to overwhelm herself, we eliminated all her “have to” tasks except for work and personal care. And, we began talking about an open schedule – one allowing for fun and friendships. We began to marry time/task management with her priorities and her schedule. We also talked about what was in her worry box, and how she could use that information to identify agreements she had made with others about herself.

Lucy and I made huge progress in the two hours we spent together.

She is working on a new vision for 2013 and the years to come. Her old vision wasn’t working well for her, and her life felt constricted, less abundant, and she certainly was not experiencing the success she longed for.

Over the next several weeks, I will share more details with you on the steps you can take if your vision no longer motivates you to get up each morning. When you fail to remember that each day is a brand new day, full of adventure and so much for you to learn, it may be time to reassess.

In the meantime – sit back in your chair, close your eyes, still your mind, and let the thoughts and ideas flow. Write them down. Are there any that you might be drawn to? Highlight them. Explore them. Do some brainstorming and mind-mapping around them. Eliminate those that lose their sparkle. What is left? Put some detail around these ideas – and begin to create your vision.

I encourage you to answer these questions; Lucy and I will talk more with you later.

Can you peel everything away from your daily routine to create time to reflect?

What are your priorities in life? Have they changed over the last couple of years?

Can you articulate your values clearly – and are they who you really are, or values you have been told you should adopt and live by even if they aren’t you?

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Photo courtesy of  h koppdelaney and 

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