You Are Perfect Just The Way You Are
(Gasp) ”No, I am not!”
This is the reaction I get from almost all my clients when I share this with them. We often go in one of two directions after that. Once I explain the statement (why, oh why, must I?), they either sit there with tears running down their face, or they argue with me.
A few weeks ago, I thought I had finally gotten one of my clients (let’s call him Bill) to the place where I could say this to him, he wouldn’t expire, and I wouldn’t need to explain. What happened? (Gasp) “No, I am not!” At least he didn’t expire!
Explanation: You came into this world as a bright, shining, perfect baby. The light of the Universe (or God, Allah, Buddha, etc. – if you prefer) was in and around you – you were perfect. That light hasn’t gone away – it is still there. But your experiences have taught you otherwise. From day one, you have been busily wrapping one experience after another around that light, creating the belief that you are not perfect; you are somehow less than perfect. How that plays out for you depends upon your experiences. And, while each experience we have is not unique, the combination of your experiences makes you unique. There will never be another one just like you!
At this point, Bill said, “But, look at all the unwise decisions I’ve made, all of the relationships that have failed. Look at where I am today. How, can you say I am perfect?”
Explanation: All of those decisions you made provided you with an opportunity to learn; they weren’t necessarily unwise. All of those relationships that you think failed actually brought beauty and joy into your life, even when they were hard. Relationships come to us for a moment, a season, and rarely, but wonderfully, for a lifetime. When those relationships cease to touch us in the moment, we are left with the memories and the lessons they brought to us.
Where are you today? Are you willing to “peel the onion”, as so many people say, to get to the light?
You are perfect – let’s start from that premise and figure out what beliefs you have wrapped around you that need to be eliminated, one belief at a time.
Our culture, and sometimes our religion, steeps us in limiting beliefs, assumptions about who we are and our relative worthiness in our society, creating a “structure of knowing”. From day one, you begin to learn, and make decisions and choices based upon those beliefs. Some of these beliefs don’t serve you well. Consequently, some of your choices don’t work out well for you. The beauty of this is you can learn from them and modify your choices in the future, and modify your belief about what is true about you.
My coaching questions for Bill, and for you:
What if every choice you made was based upon the premise that you are perfect just the way you are?
What if you know you are worthy, and opportunities are presented to you so you can take the next right step in fulfilling your purpose in life?”
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