Patience – One More Time
The bank sent my husband a debit card the other day because he went to cash a check and the debit card he had in his wallet was expired. He doesn’t use a debit card. He didn’t know the pin number. So they graciously decided to send him another card.
The card was addressed to him and our daughter, and indicated that he had been a valued customer since 1990. We didn’t have an account with this bank until 2000, and our daughter is not and never has been on our account. Now, she had an account in the early 90’s, and he was probably the co-signer since she was a minor…
So, my question to him was this. Was this debit card attached to a non-existent account, or to our checking account? And, if so, why would she be on our checking account? Did the bank MUSH all our banking stuff together, and not delete an account that had been closed? What would happen if he used the card (which he won’t) and it was attached to an account that had been closed? Where is the bank’s head?
My sweet husband has never handled the finances. I have handled them for 40 years – except for six months when I whined and he took over – what a fiasco. (It took me several months to straighten that out.) But, today he decided he could handle this. Five phone calls, one and a half hours later, him traipsing down to the office six times to ask questions, have me go look things up, asking me questions – and I snapped.
I had two hours to write a blog, get my handouts ready for a 1pm presentation (with an hour drive beforehand) and I didn’t want to deal with this issue right now.
Behavior: Snotty response to the final question, associated with anger. What value do I hold that was being stepped on? I value reliability and competence. Was my husband being reliable? Yes, he was trying to help because he knew I was busy. Was he being competent? No. But more than anything, I was impatient and angry with the bank – who was being much less competent than usual, and confused him even more.
Coaching Tip to Myself: Remember who you are impatient with, don’t snap at the person who is trying to help you. Request that your time needs be honored, and offer to help them deal with the issue at a time when you are able to give the situation your full attention. Then walk them through the process so they know how to handle it in the future. Oh, and apologize to the one you snapped at for your behavior and acknowledge you did not handle the situation well. Let go, and learn the lesson that was just presented to you for future reference.
I’m off to hug my sweet man, thank him for putting my handouts together for me, and I still have 10 minutes before my two hours is up!
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