Leadership Perspectives: Who Are You, Really?
I have been preparing for a mastermind group centered on the book “The Four Agreements”, and creating exercises to help master awareness. And, as always, I have been chatting a couple of times a week with my daughter in Australia. Andi, in one of our conversations this week, commented on how much raising an infant/toddler can be compared to training a dog – she caught herself telling Ellie “off” to get her to put something down. I had to laugh: don Miguel Ruiz speaks of the “domestication” process we go through in our life, with a heavy period of training in childhood. Shades of puppy training!
As I coach people, one of the states of being I am continually reminding people about is authenticity. It’s important to be genuine and vulnerable as a leader in order to gain the trust of your team.
How many of you connect the dots here between what your parents, teachers, extended family, and religious community wanted to have happen as you grew and learned, and what is authentic for you?
As I work with the concepts of The Four Agreements, I have been wondering how many people actually know who they are so that they might be authentic in their interactions with people. If, as don Miguel states, we “are trapped by the images of what we think we should be based on what we have been told who we are, what we should feel, what we believe and how we should behave”, how do any of us know what is real any longer?
With this domestication taking place, you begin to instill in your minds an image of perfection, not only for yourself, but for those around you. And, over time, you may learn to stop questioning that image because it is easier for you to put on a mask, and pretend to be what you are not, but what others tell you that you are.
The first step in moving into character-based leadership from my perspective is becoming aware of who you are, and open your eyes so that you might see the truth. What are you looking for? You are looking for intrinsic values, what might be called core values. Once you have identified those values, full awareness of who you are requires you to dig deep and discover the truth of all the agreements (values) you have made in your life (your own Book of Law): Personal, Social, Spiritual and Financial, and determine what you have been taught to believe in each instance.
- One way to get at the core of each agreement is to consider the paradoxical nature of the agreement – what is right or wrong, or good or bad… ….
- Does it really work for you, or is it just something you have been taught to believe, even if it doesn’t fit and you don’t agree with it?
- Have you taken these values on to avoid punishment from self or others if you don’t honor them?
Georgia Feiste, President of Collaborative Transitions Coaching, Inc., located in Lincoln, NE, and Phoenix, AZ, is a personal growth and leadership coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She is also a Usui Reiki Master and EFT practitioner. Her passion is success grounded in purpose and passion, standards of integrity and priorities in life. You can also find Georgia on her website, Collaborative Transitions, Twitter, LinkedIn and Facebook and Google+. Georgia may also be reached at (402) 304-1902 if you wish to schedule a 30 minute complementary consultation.