Do You Have a Personal Code of Honor?
A personal code of honor is comprised of the religious and ethnic traditions you were taught by your family as a child. It also includes the rituals you performed as a family. As an example, expressing your gratitude for the food you ate, and your evening prayers. In addition, they can be the beliefs patterns subscribed to by your family that you have carried forward as an adult. A couple of mine are being a truth-teller, and ethical in my relationships with people, whether they are personal relationships or business relationships. Love and compassion are also very strong for me, in my personal life and in my business life. Another personal code is being reliable and dependable – which drives my children crazy (I hate being late to appointments or events), but gives them solace, as well.
Another way to look at this is that your personal code of honor represents your values and the priorities you have in life.
Honor gives you strength, and teaches you the importance of keeping your word and living in integrity. When you are living in integrity, you are whole. You are living from the “who” of you; the very essence of you.
It is most critical that a sense of honor be taught to our children, because without it they are not able to create stable lives as an adult. They will wander throughout their lives, never really knowing who they are, or what they should do as they move forward. They won’t trust themselves. When that happens, everything they do, and every relationship they build, will feel as if it won’t last, and they will be unsure of the strength of it – it will feel fragile and perhaps meaningless. This happens because this is how they feel about themselves. When enough people live from this truth, it begins to permeate society as a whole. An example of this would be the sense of being a victim, as opposed to being accountable for your life.
A personal code of honor in behavior, when positive, creates a strong sense of self-esteem, and the ability to live life with purpose and creative inspiration. It provides the foundation with which we create a live we love.
The familial code of honor can be a wonderful thing, but can also become toxic to us as adults when we blindly follow what our parents and families have taught us without conscious thought as to whether we might be compromised by doing so. For instance, what a family teaches it members about marriage or behavior within marriage when they do not walk their talk. The good news is that while “we are what our parents made us”, it is our responsibility and appropriate for us to move beyond that if it no longer serves us well.
Do you have a personal code of honor? What is it? Does it serve you well?
Georgia Feiste, owner of Collaborative Transitions, located in Lincoln, NE, is a life transitions coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She specializes in career and personal life transitions for people seeking change in their life. Georgia is uniquely skilled in providing support and encouragement as her clients set intentional goals to attain their desires, holding open the space they need to stretch and grow. Her passion is success grounded in purpose and passion, standards of integrity and priorities in life. Her website is http://www.collaborativetransitions.com, where she blogs about business and career, and http://www.rainbowbridgecoach, where she and many other coaches blog about mind, body, spirit and emotion. Georgia can be reached at (402) 484-8098.